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Aug. 29th, 2007 @ 10:00 pm Entry #21 [Day 149 for Mike]
Current Mood: contemplative
It's crazy that in just a few weeks I will be living cross country...2600+ miles away from anything and everything I know. In one aspect I'm excited, in another I'm scared, in another I'm sad. I think of how everything will be new to me...I will get the chance to start all over, so to speak. I'll live in a place where everything doesn't remind me of mom or my past. Hopefully I'll be able to look towards the future more than I ever have been able to before.

I know I'll never stop missing her and I know that my eyes will always water when I think of a time that once was. I just need to remember that I will see her again one day. I promised her. I never said goodbye and I never will. I know she would be happy to see me moving on with my life and heading towards a happier, better, more fulfilling time in my life. I know she would be proud of me trying to heal the wounds that this life has brought upon me. God I miss her so much.

It's getting so close to Mike coming back home...and I can't wait to wrap my arms around him. Just the feeling of his lips against mine for the first time in nearly 7 months is going to melt me to the very core. I would definitely wait forever for him. He's my life...he's my best friend...he's my lover...he's my sanity...he's my healer...he's my everything.

I just want to start my new life. I want to be a new person. I want to be the kind of woman my mother was. She was the strongest, kindest, most sincere, confident, beautiful, amazing, funny, inspiring being I have ever met and probably will ever meet in my life. I know I've got a ways to go with myself, but I know she'll be with me in my heart the entire way. I don't think I will ever be quite like her, but if I can leave this life knowing that I did the best I could with my family, my friends and myself, then that will be good enough.

I guess I'm having an emo moment. Sometimes even angry girls get teary eyed. :) If you made it this far into my entry, you get cyber hugginz! *HUGS* Thank you for taking the time to read.

<3

p.s. I wish I would've bought these glasses instead of just trying them on. Aren't they fabulous?! :D

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From:[info]flyinonanglswng
Date: August 30th, 2007 05:08 am (UTC)
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**HUGS**
It will be great for you! :)
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From:[info]dangerrrdoll
Date: August 30th, 2007 03:01 pm (UTC)
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IVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE im happy you guys will be back together... my bf and i were split for his job for only 4 months, and i swear i was going insane.

where are you moving to?!?!?!
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From:[info]lucifer04
Date: August 30th, 2007 09:27 pm (UTC)
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I think that you will do awesome over there. I have been thinking about where I want to go after I get my B.S. degree and I don't know if I want to stay in N.Y. or if I want to move somewhere else. But I have been thinking that I may need a change sooner or later. That doesn't mean that I won't come back but I don't know. That's still a long way off though. I need to finish up my A.S. first and that alone is going to be 1.5 to 2 years. So I have more than enough time to think about it. I hope that everything goes great with the move. I'm so happy for you. :)
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From:[info]ung0dly
Date: September 8th, 2007 10:51 pm (UTC)
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you look like happy ivyness.
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From:[info]flyinonanglswng
Date: October 15th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
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I have missed you!! **hugs**

How are you doing? I hope all is well with you are and sweetie.

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